On becoming a mama...

My beautiful mama

I love Mother’s Day for celebrating my mama and the amazing moms in my life. My mama is far and above the most amazing woman I know. She is a gift from God. She is intelligent, hilarious and full of life and enthusiasm. She’s got a heart bigger than Texas and can be fierce as a tiger. She’s calmly confident and exuberant in her love. She’s creative, wise, godly and patient. Not to mention a ball to hang out with. I really, really, really like her! As she used to tell us, “I don’t just love you, I like you, too!” Yes, I feel just that way!

As much as I am enjoying Mother’s Day this year (my first official!), I am also reminded of the mothers who were lost too soon and those beautiful women whose hearts ache to be a mother. I have too many friends who, for various reasons, desperately want to be moms but are not. Some struggle with fertility issues, others are looking for Mr. Right and still more just had the window closed far too soon. I have no words of wisdom for these beautiful women except to say that you are loved. Your beautiful gifts of nurturing can be used to help others in far reaching and lasting ways. You are cared for and you are important.

Before I became a mama, I was told by my doctor that it would likely be difficult to get pregnant. I was told that my hormone levels were off, and I would most likely have to be put on medication to get pregnant. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). To make a long story short, I respect my doctor but do not believe I have PCOS. I am not a medical expert, but I know my body. Yes, my hormones were off, but I had very few of the symptoms of true PCOS. Regardless, I was deeply saddened by what I thought would be a long process to getting pregnant.

I desperately wanted to be a mama, but had contented myself that the timing was not right. The Mister and I discussed our future and I felt peace that when it was supposed to happen it would, in God’s perfect timing. The peace did not happen overnight. It was a very long, personal journey with God before my heart was truly set on His will. I distinctly remember the day I sat down and recognized the peace God had graced me with regarding His timing and will for me to be (or not to be) a mom. I was okay that it might be a very long time waiting.

I began to count my blessings - my wonderful Mr. Schalk, a goofy pup, a nice home in a quiet neighborhood, my health, our families, good friends, the list went on and on. I unintentionally but thankfully eliminated most of the stress in my life. I completed a two year commitment as head of fellowship activities at our church. I accepted a new job with a small company for a boss I adore. I went to the chiropractor, got my back realigned and began losing a little weight. I was very happy and quite content.

Wouldn’t you know it was then that I got pregnant. I cannot tell you which, if any, of these factors played a part in that positive pregnancy test last June. I can tell you God’s timing is perfect. Cricket is perfect. Precious, curious, sweet and silly. A perfect little baby.

Our almond eyed beauty

I love this little girl to the point of exploding with joy. Mr. Schalk and I constantly shake our heads at the little bambino that we are honored to call our daughter. I ask God daily how he made such a beautiful and delightful little baby. She is an incredible creation. She’s the exact right daughter for us, born at the exact right time. I cannot imagine any other little person being our first born. What was my life before Cricket came along?

I pray that I can be half the mama to Cricket and her siblings that my mama is to me. I pray that I can be a godly woman, full of grace, and sincerity of heart. I pray our children seek God earnestly and wholeheartedly. I pray they learn firsthand the strength of God’s power and love. I pray I can lead by example, by love and by joy.

The Shepherd leads those with young not to be Hallmark versions of perfection, but rather persevering versions of humility. Grace stands in the gaps.

-Ann Voskamp, A Holy Experience

He gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

Cricket, you have made me a mommy. You happily stole my heart that warm February day and I have been a ball of lovey gush ever since. You have brought a skip to my step, a smile to my face and a bond that is unshakable. You are an amazing little girl! Absolutely amazing!

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

xoxo, Rachel