Cheering On Cricket (and cursing time)

My Cricket girl has officially moved up to a baby tub. Before she was using the adorable infant insert sling thingy. Now she is in the "almost sitting-up-but-not-quite" tub.

2 months old




Today

Sigh...

As I took the newborn sling portion out earlier this week, and assembled the new baby version of the tub, I got to thinking. At first, I was annoyed at having to figure out a new way to work bath time. Cricket's head was in a different position and washing her hair would take some better coordination. Oy vey, coordination and yours truly are not bff's.

Sporting her new Charlie Banana swim diaper and a yawn
(We were seeing if the diaper fit in preparation for lots of fun in the lake this year. The yawn is her cue to get the party started in her new and improved "fun" tub. Ha! I love her!)

More importantly, what if baby girl didn’t like this new way of sitting? (Which you can tell from the photos was wayyyy off, but I still thought it.) What if it made her more alert instead of calm and relaxed before bed? Cricket has always enjoyed bath time and while the rational part of me said that she would still enjoy this new improved bath time the other part of me was irritated. Not at her, obviously, or even at the bath tub. Irritated at this thing called growing up. My baby was growing up. Oh, how part of me longed to keep her in that sling forever.

My sweet baby.

I didn’t think it would feel like this. So raw and emotional. It's a bath tub for goodness sake!

Must be the Italian coming out in me.

Except...

...I'm not Italian.

We began bath time in the new baby bath. I looked down and there was my happy baby staring back at me. In fact, last night was bath #4 in her new tub and she was thrilled. She cooed and babbled happy baby noises as she kicked her adorable Michelin man legs in the water. She smiled and shrieked at the water flowing over her sweet baby belly. She was in baby heaven!

And that’s when it hit me.

This is just the beginning. Here I was smiling at my happy little girl, cheering on her new discoveries, while inside I was sobbing alligator tears and my heart was tugging something fierce.

This is what being a mama is about - cheering my babies on as they explore and grow and become who God intended them to be. It is about supporting them as they learn about the world and about themselves. It is doing all of these things while inside I’m silently begging them to slow down, to stay young and to not grow up too fast. Part of me longed to hold her close and never let go. And yet, I knew that I needed to smile, to encourage and to love through the ache.

Yes, it was just a bath tub. But, in that moment it was so much more to me. The days are fleeting and even at 3 1/2 months I can feel that. I will never regret soaking in each beautiful moment with my daughter. Perhaps I am emotional, but that is how I live. I want to feel things deeply. I don't know any other way. I want to thank God from the bottom of my heart, and I want to love my family with a love that never grows cold.

So, sentimental sighs are felt and big smiles given. And, now after a few days I am cheering inside and out. I am surprised that it's only been 3 1/2 months and she is already growing up so fast. Thankfully, the pride I feel as I watch her accomplishments day after day has taken over. For now, I have packed away the sweet sadness and embraced the joy. But, she still doesn't have to grow up too fast...

xoxo, Rachel


P.S. Happy Fridayyyyyyy! (Eeek! How I loooove the weekends!)