A Story for Cricket: Your Birth Day

My darling sweet girl, this is your big day! Happy 1^st Birthday! This marks the first time I get to reminisce and tell you of the day you were born. A tradition that begins today….telling you your story.

It was sixty-five degrees (in February, mind you!) the day you graced us. Some of the details have gone fuzzy around the edges, but most are still clear as day. A month or so before your birth day, I got a rash called PUPPS (which was almost as painful as you sitting on my pelvis for the last four weeks you were in my belly…ahem.) My doctor said I would have to be induced if I did not go into labor on my own before your scheduled due date. 

Oh, how I prayed and prayed that I would not have to be induced. Your dad and I had taken lots of birthing classes and I was ready to welcome you the way I had set on doing, with no interventions. God did not answer that prayer the way I had hoped, but he took care of us as only our Father can. His plan was, and still is, perfect. Your story was even better than I could have ever imagined. Not just because I was able to birth (almost) the way I wanted, but because you were the gift we received. A beautiful, vibrant Cricket baby!

Your daddy and I went to the hospital at 3am that morning. I showered, did my hair and put on makeup. It was our big day and I wanted to feel good. I ate a small breakfast of turkey, a banana and my hot tea. I knew I shouldn’t have caffeine, but it calmed me and I was very nervous. We drove the five minutes to the hospital, walked in and I said to the nurse, “I’m having a baby today.” (Miss Kaleena told me to have a positive attitude, despite my nerves, and it would go much smoother. My oh my, that was wise advice.)

By 6 o’clock the nurses and doctor started me on Pitocin to induce labor, broke my water and let me know it was time. You were on your way! I kept repeating Proverbs 3:5…Trust in the Lord with all your heart. I was scared, but I had peace. I knew it was going to be okay because God was with us. The nurse asked me my pain level on a 1-10 scale. I told her 10, more out of sheer hope I could have the birth I wanted, rather than knowing what my tolerance really was. I would find out soon enough that with God's help I was stronger than I ever imagined.

The contractions began slowly and then increased in intensity. I was told Pitocin would speed them up and make them more painful. I was worried that my body would not be able to handle these stronger faster contractions. I knew I could do it if they came naturally, but would I be able to if they were induced like this? The contractions came and went like waves. They gave me more medicine until some certain point that I don’t remember any more. I desperately wanted them to stop with the medicine, but I wanted to meet you even more and was okay with hurrying it along. I longed to meet you, to hold you, to welcome you into our love.

I progressed quickly. The contractions left me speechless but your daddy never left my side. Never. The hurt in his face for me was palpable, but he stayed strong. He was my rock. After each contraction he gave me a sip of water (I was very thirsty!) and whispered words of encouragement. He said he felt like he was repeating himself, but I assured him it was all I wanted. He told me I was doing a good job, that I was getting closer and the he was proud of me. He told me he loved me and he made me smile. I fell in love with your dad deeper than ever that day. We truly welcomed you together, as a family. I could not tell him at the time, but he had to have known by the way I looked at him how much I love and respected him in those moments. He was everything I needed in a husband, a partner and a soon-to-be dad.

I moved from the bed to a rocking chair and back to the bed. Moving to feel comfortable, concentrating on the room and breathing deeply through each contraction. As my body got ready so did you. I pictured you, with dark pig tails and a big smile, knowing that soon you would be here to begin your wonderful journey of life. The nurse brought me a grape popsicle and I was delighted. I got to pick my flavor and for some reason was so impressed it was a “name brand” popsicle. Silly, I know.  

The doctor kept measuring me and checking up on me. Except for the Pitocin, I asked for no intervention, epidural or otherwise, and the nurses respected my wishes. Most of the day it was just your dad and me, working through each contraction and anticipating your arrival. He put in I Love Lucy dvd’s and we watched my favorite Harpo Marx episode, among others. Your dad tried not to laugh at the funniest part when Lucy and Harpo mimic each other. It was right during a really tough contraction. He felt bad laughing, but I knew it was really funny. I wanted to laugh, too, but I had to concentrate. I still chuckle at that memory. Soon the television would turn off and it would be time to push.

Seven hours of tough labor and it was time. I pushed for about 15 minutes but I promise it felt like twenty years. It was the only time I did not believe I could make it. Yet, we were so close to the end that I had to push through. I wanted to hold you, but I looked at my doctor with eyes that said, “You have go to be kidding me. I cannot do this.” She knew I could. She encouraged me and taught me the right way to push. Your dad was beside me the whole time. Encouraging me and believing in me. I was quiet for most of the labor until that time. Then, all I could do was work through the pain.

Pushing, pushing, pushing. Then, after a pause, you arrived. Beautiful, crying, and perfect. In that split second you changed our lives forever. You made us a mommy and a daddy. We were a family. I was on an adrenaline high and you were blinking your eyes. What a bright new world for you! Our nurse, who was amazing herself, was so proud of us. I beamed! You were perfect and we did it just the way that worked for us. God was with us each second. It was more beautiful than words can describe. You were so alert as you rooted on my chest and sucked your thumb. You were tiny with a head of black hair. Your dad just stared in awe at your sweet face. We said hello and kept staring, humbled by the miracle of you.

I had not wanted your dad to leave my side the entire day. I needed him close. However, now that you were here, and we had soaked you in a bit, I asked him to get Nana and Grandpa Ed who were in the waiting room. We were so excited to show you off. You were our special gift and we were instantly head over heels in love with you. We told your story to Nana and Grandpa and oohed and ahhed at your beauty and sweetness. How did we deserve such a wonder? God had blessed us indeed! Later your Grandma and Grandpa Schalk, Aunt Theresa and Uncle Nathan would arrive. Everyone loved on you and smiled from ear to ear. You were so new and fresh and magical.

We would sleep side by side in that hospital room that night. Your dad slept on the pull out couch, me in the bed and you in your newborn hospital cradle. We did not sleep much that night. I am certain I could have stared at you forever, in wonder and amazement at God’s creation.

We all have different stories of our birth days. There are many ways to welcome sweet babies into the world. This is our story. It is as unique to us as the stars in the sky. It is a story of strength, faith and love. The three of us became a family that day, one year and a million kisses ago.

Thank you for choosing us to be your parents, sweet girl! We are humbled and honored beyond words. Happy Birthday Dear Cricket!!!!!

We love you to the moon and back!

xo, Mama & Dada